From the Desk of Ty, Vol. 3

From the Desk of Ty

Vol. 3

Daddy thinks he’s so smart. He has a password on his black box, but little does he know—I see everything. Want to know Daddy’s password? It’s…

Well, I’ll get to that later. Daddy calls that a tease in the news business.

I turn four weeks old this week. Now that I’ve gotten a little experience under my belt (by the way, I’m not sure what the point of a belt is. I don’t wear one!), I’ve got some advice for everyone out there. I heard Daddy say once, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, because it’s all small stuff.” I have my own spin on that. Don’t worry about your next meal, because Mommy is always around. Take me for example, when I get hungry I just tell Mommy calmly—“it’s time to eat.” I don’t know why she comes running so fast when I tell her things. Then she’s always trying to hush me. I’m just trying to tell her I’m hungry! Don’t worry. She eventually feeds me. I know my mommy is a little high strung, but I love her anyway.

Now that I’ve said not to worry, there is an alarming trend I feel obligated to let you know about—an increase in attempted infant drownings! Recently Mommy and Daddy have attempted to submerge me in water. Do we live in Salem? Is this a witch trial? What’s with all the water? They call it a bath. I call it torture. Don’t get me wrong, it sort of feels nice, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe. So don’t be lured in by this New Age hooey. A little dirt never hurt anyone.

Now the grand finale. Daddy’s password is…

Uh oh, someone is coming. It’ll have to wait until next time.